i was judged to be as a person having strong analytical skills.. not any partial decision or judgement by some professor having a certain degree of biasedness towards me.. no.. this was the result established by the test taken.. the psychometric test taken.. a 'conclusion' of my sort.. and it said, majorly analytical..
according to it, im the one who is supposedly playing safe all the time..
yesterday night doesnt really match in sync with this.. i never calculated or even estimated all the happenings that happened after a certain particular incident.. so, am i really that analytical? or am i schizophrenic?
and the consequences.. well.. unaccounted tear drops.. uncontrolled streaming.. mood spoilers.. saddened.. morose.. feeling shit.. all these were the immediate effects.. the immediate conclusions.. all this inspite of my head buzzing with a million other activities.. all this inspite of my head throbbing with a zillion other thoughts.. all this inspite of me attending to our guests at night for dinner.. all this inspite of being in the constant presence of 8 people..
the alarming part comes later.. if i thought, all these were the maximum that it would go to, i was horribly mistaken.. i witnessed the phenomena of mind taking over body.. shit tired that i was yesterday.. long day at the training session.. the brainstorming for the felicitation program post the conventional training sessions.. the drive through stupid traffic back home.. the one hour ride with the certain someone prior to all these 'consequences'.. my body was a dead beat.. yet, inspite of everything, wherein under any other given day of normal circumstances, i would have fallen down and crashed on the bed the instant my head touched the pillow, i couldnt sleep.. simply.. my mind overpowered my struggling and tired frame.. and it prevailed.. barely 3 hrs of closed eyes, and for the first time in my life till now, i woke up with a start and without any alarm!
even as i am putting this down, a million things are running in my head.. the program sequence, the guests, the vote of thanks, the smooth sailing of the entire schedule.. and yet, i dun feel anything.. i will again be at the centrestage.. yet, i feel shit.
consequences.. and i was not prepared for this..ever.
according to it, im the one who is supposedly playing safe all the time..
yesterday night doesnt really match in sync with this.. i never calculated or even estimated all the happenings that happened after a certain particular incident.. so, am i really that analytical? or am i schizophrenic?
and the consequences.. well.. unaccounted tear drops.. uncontrolled streaming.. mood spoilers.. saddened.. morose.. feeling shit.. all these were the immediate effects.. the immediate conclusions.. all this inspite of my head buzzing with a million other activities.. all this inspite of my head throbbing with a zillion other thoughts.. all this inspite of me attending to our guests at night for dinner.. all this inspite of being in the constant presence of 8 people..
the alarming part comes later.. if i thought, all these were the maximum that it would go to, i was horribly mistaken.. i witnessed the phenomena of mind taking over body.. shit tired that i was yesterday.. long day at the training session.. the brainstorming for the felicitation program post the conventional training sessions.. the drive through stupid traffic back home.. the one hour ride with the certain someone prior to all these 'consequences'.. my body was a dead beat.. yet, inspite of everything, wherein under any other given day of normal circumstances, i would have fallen down and crashed on the bed the instant my head touched the pillow, i couldnt sleep.. simply.. my mind overpowered my struggling and tired frame.. and it prevailed.. barely 3 hrs of closed eyes, and for the first time in my life till now, i woke up with a start and without any alarm!
even as i am putting this down, a million things are running in my head.. the program sequence, the guests, the vote of thanks, the smooth sailing of the entire schedule.. and yet, i dun feel anything.. i will again be at the centrestage.. yet, i feel shit.
consequences.. and i was not prepared for this..ever.
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