it is all gonna be so LOVERLY!

and now that everything is (finally) sorted (sic), i'll be going back to all those that i love the most..
and this is not a new year resolution, but something which was on the backburner for a real long time..

and yes. it is back-to-love, once again.period.

dentist diary

"Dr. Sethi k paas hae ilaj ki dava hai.. Abse brush karke do batli peg maro.. Germs talli.. Sab inactive.. So jaege.. No sadan in daant :)"

14.9.11.......the understanding of the "C" word

till now, i never was sure of the meaning and essence of COMMITMENT. i used to go about asking people what do they really mean by it. how would they define 'Commitment'? and to be frank, i did get hell loadsa replies. at times even more than what i could have actually handled at a time.

{and i wont give or make any stories at that! this 'Commitment' deals with a guy and a girl.}

of al the definitions that i was subjected to, one made its way to my brain. quoting a certain Doc.-----
"you know you are committed, when you wont even think of going out (as on a date) with any other (comparable) being."

and it made sense to me, today!
up until this day, i have put a certain entity to tremendous testing conditions, which at times were no way air and just. but still i did. and maybe i can never forgive myself for that.

but on the same hand, i am the proudest person, because the concerned entity never failed those tests.

before today, i was a wanderer. because i knew i can always come back to my "ground force". i used to take advantage. undue advantage of it. and i know today-----how wrong i was!

maybe today, if anyone asks me, how would i define "commitment", i still wont be able to elucidate it or put it down in words for writing. but some oart inside me is at complete peace today, because i have finally understood and felt "commitment".

it might be too early for me to say it now. but i have decided to live for the moment.

and COMMITTED it is for me----- at the moment. and i am happy, proud, satisfied and relaxed.

because, for once, it all feels justified!

the "RAINS" finally.. :)

strong steady downpour, awesome rains + pulsar ride winding through the crazy traffic in the evening + soaking wet and fully drenched + halting at the roadside for the amazing pipping hot tapri chai + sutta + the ideal and the best companion for all the above..
my best ever rains in this city.. dated 12th August, 2011.

" Changes and transformations in relationships are not always bad. Sometimes they are just what the doctor ordered. Remember that lovers need to be friends and partners too. Communication is the key, and remember, you have to be honest about your feelings. "

 

Cancer Horoscope, for 8th july, 2011!

ahd musings

well, i will be lying if i say that i dun brood abt "signs".. coz, i really do.. in the actual sense of brooding.. on all sorts of signs, which even included the "signatures" (often shortened for convinience purposes as---'sign')!

and now, when im almost on the verge of being blinded by such a vast myriad(ic) kaleidioscope of sign-tic 'fresco', i reckon it is high time i put my brood-cap and socks on!

{p.s.:: this is the after-effects of being absolutely high and drunk on "love" and "serendipity". real deadly combination.. something that even 4 large Absoluts couldnt do to me!}

this time it involves Nature. n the Rains! something which i have ALWAYS loved..something with which i have the most beautiful times and memories associated.
so, this year rains, yes, it IS special.. VERY SPECIAL..♥
and my romance with the rains (which had hit a low spot since the last couple of years) was again invigorated with this years first drops.. in my all these (almost) 8 yrs of residency in Mumbai, (or Bbay, as i like to call) it was only in my last (damn! it breaks my heart everytime i say "last") 2 months, and the last rains in the city, that i lived the Rains as i'd always dreamt of living it.. standing amidst the vast expanse of rocks on the concretised pathway, with the waves lashing hard and threatning to pull me away, strong and wild gust of winds blowing everywhere, dark overcast sky, to the extent that its impossible to distinguish the time of the day and the twilight by looking at it and getting drenched in the rains, standing just like that. a dream, which WAS realised. YESH, YESH! ♥♥♥ and many more additions to it, which separated it from the "dream" that was dreamt for 8 long yrs.. and the realisation was S-W-E-E-T.. it almost reminded me of Jessica Simpson's "will be the sweetest thing".. getting drenched in the first rains of the season in Bbay.. following it up with getting drenched many times after it too..

and now after Adieu to Bbay, when i've changed my locale, my romance somehow was still kept alive.. for a place, for which i'm still to find that resonating chord, that is trying too hard to win me over, i think i have to succumb to the countless "signs" that it is presenting me with..
the first meeting after half of the year, in sweet exclusivity. a place where i know my heart beats.
priceless moments.
first rains of the city. n getting drenched. which, for the first time, was met with approval!!
unspoken and unsaid words. yet saying it all aloud.
being greeted to the dance of the peacocks, the first thing in the morning.

yes. for a place that is trying too hard, i think i should give it to the place.. a chance of romance.
after all, it IS where i know my heart beats!
♥

eeries-jeebies

n yes, the call followed too.. so, first the dream, then the msg, and the call which included the continuous mention of the homo-sapien!

and amidst such turbulence, my grounding force can also never be far away! ;-) and then everything was laid to a tranquil state.. n peace was restored again, in the rough seas.

*loves you :-)*

just and simply

with a boyfriend in hand and booze on call,
i wish to go back to that place, two years from now.
a promise which i fear to make,
and so, a wish, by far, it stays.

having this sudden urge to sign as.......

"bangali".

this "bangali" was always yours, exclusively..for all those silent whispers and moonlit nyts..

inexplicably sad..even the prospects of a new begining fails to lift up my spirits..maybe thats how it feels to say adios to "life"..yes, "heartbroken" i trully am..unabashedly..as tears finally roll down.

n i say "tata, bbay"..

and surprisingly, my last night was exactly how i'd secretly hoped it to be.. my last bbay nyt, in its truest essence! with the homo-sapien, light showers, intoxication, music, dance.. the only thing that went missing was the queen's necklace n walking me down home.. but then again, it had more than what it dint have..
n i'm gonna keep it at a very very special place..

:)

:'( ;'( :,( %"(

mamma always used to tell me, "Mamon. eto kothin hote nei..ektu norom hote hoe. meyeder shokto howa shobha deye na."
i never agreed on it..because, i never could pretend. ever. and this trait runs in the family---or, oops! a lil bit of trivia involving the indian societal customs here is mandatory. according to our great societal norms as laid down by some so-called "wise men" eons ago, the "family" clearly defines ONLY the lineage from the "father's" side. so, now, coming back to my point, the above mentioned trait in focus, that runs n throbs in the veins of everyone belonging to my father's side of the "family". crude may be the description, and horribly skewed and frighteningly biased too (the gender discrimination cell must be having a field day!), but it remains TRUE.
i guess, i'm pretty much hard on people i interact with. blunt. brash. rude. and all other adjectives of the similar connotations. and that is something i proclaim proudly on the very outset. but yet, surprisingly and at times annoyingly people dun agreee. (i'll come to the "annoying" part of it, a lil later.) i can fully understand them having these sorta views on the day 1 of the associations, well, the male chivalry obviously needs to play a part..rule of nature. but even after prolonged associations, when these views dun change, that is where it turns annoying.
a certain Doc came up with an eerily accurate description of me. and also, a fact abt me which he was not very pally of. but he doesnt disregard me for that. he tried and still tries to find out a way around it. he "respects" it.
a significant "someone", loved me for that fact. n still does.

and, for his sweetheart, my "grounding force-----> akalmand buddhu" tells me to give a damn to the rest of the world, whoever they may be, for he knows what i am, n thats all that matters.


but i can never be the soft one. i can never pretend.
call me bad (sic).

"I know you are not insensitive and cold.Agar aur kisi ko lage toh why do you even care?"

yes. i knew your opinions and views matter the most.
You just happened to strengthen it infinite folds.

maybe, there was an "us" that just surfaced. :)

none n never so specific.. outpours, more like

its somewhat strange that i find, when offlate, i feel most of my thoughts to wander off in a particular direction and time frame..featuring mostly two very specific people.. and then i realise the true worth of the saying "an idle mind is a devil's workshop"..

yesteday was one such nyt, when i had the entire night to myself.. and ask me what was i doing? i danced.. yes. i danced to my heart's content.. dancing.. felt liberating.. and the end of i dunno how many hrs, i could feel the sweat trickling down my back, the sweet ache of the back muscles, the blunt throbbing of the shoulders, and it all felt like------> home! yes.. it felt, as if i'm at a place, where i trully belong.. where no answers required n no questions asked.. n maybe, i even understood what he meant when he'd told me that he feels "home" when he smells the whiff of spirit solution and alcohol in the air, much to my scoffing then.. which again brings my thought to one of the particular vertical..and almost immediately it goes to the another vertical, which almost like a reflex action pulls me back tot he ground.. (both exhibiting the "twin" characteristics are not much of a help either)..

today, in the afternoon, while sifting through my usual huge archives of photos, i realised that courtesy that unassuming person, i have actually ended up having a couple of the most candid ever shots featuring me and him.. n needless to say, they are the favs! and yet again, there exists this wierd hesitation of approaching..

and now the grounding effect, well, i dunno what i'll do without it.. that is my oxygen.. my everyday "life".. yes, n on the days where the other feeling gets more overwhelming, i desperately wish for my grounding force to come and take me away.. coz, i know thats where i wanna be, but momentarily, this tempest is tempting me..

so, i dunno what i have blabbered.. but im glad having done that.. but strangely enough, the one vertical, tempest it might be to me, but for some wierd reasons it had been successful enough in giving it an image of calm n anchor to the person who im answerable to at this moment.. you call it strange? well, i daresay, i feel the need for my "grounding force" all the more.

p.s. but i have no clue regarding what should be my apt actions abt the sweetest memories that i have of the nights of 15th, 17th, 20th, 23rd.. they are in truest essence-----> PRICELESS!

old traditions continues in the new day

my first day in yet another "new" year of my life.. portraying a perfect score today---23/23!

the start has been awesome till now.. basking in the sweet love of yesteryears and the noveau day! with the most prized possession being that of the convo with naniji (*love*), a sweet half-an-hr morning phone date with pops, the one person i've loved forever, and listening to the sweet "sounds" of someone before i slept off after the clock rang in the new day! yes, till now, it has been awesomely lovely..

n lookng forward to a bestest afternoon with my best friend :) and a crazy nyt to follow it all up!

p.s.: n yes, you are sorely missed, baby.. n i still continue with my birthday gift wish----> balloons and YOU.

him n her :)

what can be better than this?

rains, setting sun, splashing sea, impromptu plan, n beer :)
pizza, pasta n beer. :)
conversation, truth-n-dare n beer. :)
secrets n beer :)

walking hand-in-hand, sitting closely, eyes for each other, n walking with arms around..
i ges, my night's made :)
♥♥

rain+Bier+Leopold
♥
ih​r+ich
♥ more
if you'd have been there, it'd have been ♥ most!
:)

"do u like to keep ball in the others court always?"
"in some cases, i do.."
":):):):)"
"n what you smiling for now? :)"
"just enjoying the match"
" aisahi karogi toh when will u win?"
"its never abt me winning! you have to come n take me!"

n aisa bhi hota hai!

who on earth would have thought  that a simple and harmless pirecing in the ear will result in such a high intensity drama?! :-P coz thats exactly how and what happened.. sitting nicely in the chair, all set for being "pierced" with all the necessary equipments, et al.. the first thing that i realise is a sharp prick and a jab of pain, then again n then again, n the next thing that i realise is i'm on the floor (!?) surrounded by frantic-faced kakima holding me, n some other female splashing water on my face.. and i have no memory of how i ended up being there!

and so much for a lil prick in the ear! which is (without any doubt) adjourned for the good!

unique piece! (as someone very rightly put it!)

p.s.: the 'doc' was missed.. kakima missed him more today.. so, i had "company".. *chuckle* its just, he doesnt know.. and probably will never know.. *sigh!*

in my besty's words-------> "myself!"

Friends fOREVER...

Aritree Chaudhuri a.k.a Psycho

Girl whose importance I realised after she left sc...hool
Girl who is a wonderful writer
Girl who was first to know about my one and only 'Boyfriend'
Girl who still calls me 'Chuhiya'
Girl who has a very sharp memory and never forget things...
Girl whose mother is like my second Mom...
Girl who has wonderful 'Hairs' ♥
Girl with whom I spent my childhood...
Girl with whom I like to share my S.e.c.r.e.t.s...
Girl to whom I wrote letters even in between my exams...
Girl who is still friends with her Ex.. (weirdo)
Girl who wishes me Happy Birthday at the end of the Day so that I may sleep with her wishes for whole year....
Girl whose home in ankleshwar used to be my second home...
Girl whose house garden is the thing that I miss most...
Girl who is a wonderful Dancer and Singer...
Girl who is jus awesome in giving 'Nick' names to her friends...
Girl who helped me to have a b'ful handwriting( U dnt knw this, but I use to copy ur Hand writing in school)
Girl who is Insomniac like me...
Girl who was with me wen I was going through the rough phase of my life...

Hey, I knw these are jus few things that we shared in so many years!! I cant even think of describing our bond with this thing, but I jus felt like writing
something for a wonderful nd superb writer like u... I love u Girly, and will love u forever...
I wish to see u soon now, desperately need a pic with u now... ♥♥See More

This album is dedicated to all those who came into my life with some purpose or without any purpose... No matter how we met, faught , but all those things really made u guys a very important part of my life... Part which I can never forget and dont wanna forget either... Thank you for coming in my life like a Gift and staying with me... :) ♥

By: Juhi Gupta

bas 5 rupaye ka fevi stick/ fevi quick!

and it was just the previous day when i was gushing like a stupid romantic fool.. couldnt get enough of it at all..
and yes, that is probably the best part of being a teenager.. something that i realised after coming out of it.. and yet, the realisation somehow managed to go deeper than that.. to the level of bursting bubbles.. it followed the same conventional trajectory though---> inception of the idea, building on to that idea, having some support from the day-to-day activities, that were otherwise mundane and insignificant of such a nature, that it'd have been screechingly abnormal to give undeserved attention to it, but nevertheless, drawing all the non-existant conclusions and even making them appear realistic and convincing enough for the support of my case, drooling over the thoughts, imagining further ways ultimately leading to nothingness, even indulging in a bit of stalking, waiting with all the optimism in the world----with gradually coming round that frenzied feeling to a more "mature" composure,  acting like an "experienced" personality----and the eventual bursting of the almost perfect bubble, courtesy another individual..(the individual playing the role of a helper not that of the accusative responsible!)

and it goes-------P-O-P! and P-O-O-O-F!

and so, now coming back to the best part-------------------->
you dont really wait for long, before it is already "let bygones be bygones" and you are already surging forward for a second shot at it! :-P

after all, it IS "bas 5 rupaye ka fevi stick/ fevi quick!"

calling........Doc!

its a lovely feeling.. *blush* cant stop smiling.. cant stop grinning.. cant stop thinking.. cant stop going over and over again those priceless moments of the most random conversation.. of subtle proddings.. of discreet invitations.. of careful expression of want and longing.. of everything that makes your world go round.. makes you light.. mahes your  head heavy..

*blush*

my train journey

it used to be my favourite essay to read when in school.. "my favourite journey".. and invariably, the "journey", irrespective of the person concerned, always used to be a "train" one.. and my fav! for one very simple reason and fact--elusion. yes, i was never that "fortunate" enough to experience and consequently re-count "my favourite (train) journey" for my essays in school.. and yes. that sure did use to leave me forlorn.. and blame it on the entire  2000 km of land-stretch separating me from my "native place", which always resulted in a trip to airport, destination reached in 2 hrs 20 mins. flat!

and so, it was not untill my 22nd year of my life, when im obliged to undertake a "train journey" everyday 30-mins to-and-fro, to a different city! :-D and boy, my joy knows no bounds.. the very smell of the "train journey".. only, im not in a "school"  anymore where i'll be asked to write an essay in "english" on "your favourite journey" wherein i can sneak in my everyday recounts of the "train journey".. but then it definitely again doesnt stop me from elucidating it, anyway..

and to tell the truth, i still dunno, whether i should really be calling it as my "fav".. but it surely is that one thing in the day, for which i look forward to.. every single day. yes. in scorching sun, throngs of people jostling for a quicker way out of the crowd on the already packed and crowded overbridge, clusters of people that helps in identifying the nature of the 'dabba' of the incoming train, the myriad of activities omnipresent on the platform and continued on the same intensity and fashion even inside the train, the beautiful rythmic movements, the sweet breeze.. add to that, the constant discussion on movies and similar stuffs.. and all this ONLY while "going". coz the "coming back" has its own special charm to it.

and so the coming back.. and this starts right from that frenzied moment of "Tchuss!" coz, what follows it, is pure mad rush and dash  at the door, down the stairs, the reluctant wait for the ones left behind at the gate, and then the hurried walk back to the Bahnhof.. which usually is in pairs, mostly, with one (pair) leading the way, and the other following! and, i must say, i've been very fortunate till now to be "paired" with the Person ;) which is continued all the way to my destination station.. and what am i overlooking in between? the beautiful 30 mins of return journey in the train with the beautiful company of (a) certain illustrous homo sapien(s)  and the ever entertaining and attention grabbing conversations, the high-fives, the (silent) jokes shared (secretly), the un-inhibited laugh, us sitting in that very same manner, and at times, even standing.. without any damn care of what the others will be thinking about us! yes, all this and all those many more which can never be put down in words.. that is my "fav" train journey, everyday..

p.s: i never could pin-point the factors.. but it sure is conclusive enough in one definite aspect. it sure does follow a definite and particular fashion. all the traits, lead me to that point, where i've always longed to reach. yet, this particular instance, inspite of all the "signs" leading me to that place, im hesitating.. deliberately. and who knows, maybe, it becomes a way too explicitely evident at times too..

coz, similarities are always enticingly dangerous. they lure you into it. but it doesnt give you a way out. and in this case, the "similarities" are getting a tad too blatant. and im tensed with anticipation.

proud moment for me!

and finally its official.. "official" for the "world" to see.. (of course at their own "interest"!) and thats what makes it special.. and thatsalso what that makes me proud.. im proud coz, this is the first time i've "consciously" made a proclamation and have succeeded in giving a definite direction to it! :-D yes.. very happy :) and proud!



http://www.mybestfriendismuslim.com/post/5334873684/besty-hans

p.s.: and i believe in it :) *love*

the long list

1. Rio----------------------------------------> check!
2. Cold Mountain----------------------------> check!
3. Ice Age------------------------------------> check!
4. Paranormal Activity 2----------------------> saturday nyt appo! *scared!*
5. The Hangover 2
6. Pirates of the Carribean 4

destination-----> 400014.

time flew. a phrase i have often come across. a phrase i have used a zillion times. to express someting serious. or to show my exasperation. to even using it in the most off-handed manner. but pretty much aware, nevertheless. but maybe, in the just concluded weekend, i did experience the true significance of this phrase. "time flew". coz, sitting now, amid all the homely comforts of the soft cushiony sofa and a brilliant fan, compounded with the omnipresent generous dollops of love and affection and care, and the very presence of "family", i probably, for the very first time in my 22 years of short-n-long life, realise the true feel of the phrase. yes. time did fly. and fast.

20.4.11

and as i finally sit down to pour it all out, it suddenly feels wierd to recount.

i say finally, not because this was something long awaited. i say finally, because finally i get the time and space to sit without any apparent cluster of clutters in front of the ever inviting bright white screen of the blog-page on my lapi! and definitely deserves a finally. yeah.

and that goes without saying that i was busy doing some real work. yeah. its the same old story of packing.. but this time, thankfully, the books are much less compared to the previous time, and i have a real time fast and easy access to the boxes for packing, which is like a real boost. n so, the books all done, barring a few or one or two here about, and most of my clothes too packed in.. and for the rest of the paraphernalia, which unfortunately happens to be quite a few of them too, i have to wait for the further supply of bags/boxes/suitcases to fill them with those.. and that can be done only after pops decides to bring those stuffs.. then it will be a matter of a few more hours.. coz thats all thats gonna take me to rustle it all up for one final (apparently and for the time being) bundling and jetting-setting-going far far away from this gaol!

which now brings me to the most dreaded and detested part of the entire scenario.. the hostel warden, and her many idiosyncracies!"gurdian is required!" "the fax is mandatory!" "you have to get a letter from your H.O.D" "where is the mess receipt?" and somehow her questions never seem to be put on rest. one serious super confused lady! n so, keeping fingers and toes crossed, that tomo when pops comes, everything gets sorted out real smoothly with her, wothout any additional lafdas with her.

and not to forget, tomo will most probably be the last working day's association of mine with JDBIMS.. the final viva being tomo, that definitely marks the end of the two years in that place.. and im really "looking forward" to it.

and with it, my short stay in the hostel too comes to an end. a year. of celebrations, night ups, wierd feels, movies, fun, solitude, and a hell lotta more stuffs. it was good. i wont really miss hostel, but i'll definitely have good memories of it. and not to say, seeing me all packing mode, my roomie definitely is a bit sad.. and to speak of it, it has just been 9 months with her.. but yeah, she was real good :) just the movie part got stuck amid our whirlwind schedules and exams. but that apart, everything managed to fall into place with her. and to say no fights, arguments, cold wars.. i probably wont end up keeping in touch with her, the asocial being that i am, but nevertheless, i will always remember her. and in all my talks and musings about my sojourn JDBIMS and hostel, she'll definitely get a mention. it was good times in the rooms.. quite.. but good. and the chittings chattings can never be excluded!

so, i think, i should call it a day here. final editing to be done to the presentation for tomo. and the nights of-late have gone a bit loner..but the omnipresence, is probably acting as the greatest reassurance. n that explains the smile on my face. so, before it tends to get any more wierd n flowery, its ciao for now.

p.s: vo toh ate hi ludking ho gaya..i too am thinking of following suit.
so, gnite.. sweetdreams.. your dreams.

16.3.2011

he asked me what i wanted for my birthday. i would have well almost replied with "balloons". but i was pissed with him for not letting me have my memoir of that day.

"ye wala" :-P

"kya? :-P"
"ye ;)"
"kya ye :-P"
"ye vala ye :-D"
"kya wala ye :-P"
"ye wala ;)"
"kya wala :-P"
":-P ye vala wala"
"kya wala wala :-P"
"haha :-D ye wala :)"
"kya wala :-P"
"ye wala :)"

:-/

it hurts. when i see my place being taken by someone else. it hurts. even if that place was never clearly defined. it hurts. more. because on the very first place it chose to defy convention. it hurts. it was never normalised. and. nothing. takes. the. fact. away. that. it. hurts.

outbursts have never been my signature. never. ever. i'm innately cold. perpetually. and thus surfaces the theory of relativity and the most illustrous concept of perception. the freedom of percieving. which can lift you in any plane you wish. a dream route of escape. of being invincible. perception. what you 'choose' to percieve. and there exactly is where i have some skills on manipulation. n though i might be (and even have been) pretty successful in manipulation n pulling-the-strings of external perception, i have been a continuous failure for my own self.

n so i cant deny, neither shrug off the feeling of hurtful. n yes. it definitely does.

promise me, you'll never fall in love with me

"can i kiss you?"
" i may be bad at it!"
"it can't be possible! :)"

chance pe dance!

im absolutely idle, so putting in snippets of actual conversations, which in fact, happen to be sorta interesting, nevertheless.. n so, here goes the second one in the series :-D

{note:: the incident recounted below, had taken place, involving two said beings, in the actuality of unfolding of events. the identities are kept discreet.}

He:: sexy! :) <3

She:: lol.. :P

He:: na seriously.. you look amazing.. ajkal kuch zyada hi hot lagti ho..:)

She:: aah! :) thaanku thaanku! well, you had had your chance ;) abhi kuch nai ho sakta.. :P

He:: toh tab pehle batana tha na! damn!! i missd out then.. :( fir se "chance" k kya chances hai? ;) :)

She:: haha.. :-P pata nai.. gurantee nai hai uska!

He:: vaise inni hot kaise ho gayi ho?

She:: umm.. well, tumhare jane k bad se ;)

moral of the story: chance pe dance necessarily marna chahiye! :-D

"oh ya! you will NEVER propose a guy!"

him:: "toh, kaisi chal rai hai tum dono ki love story?"
She::  "bhot achi!"
him:: "ha, toh ab kab propose kar rai hai tu?"
She:: "never"

20.3.11

n so, another year goes by..n its again a full circle..
yes.. its the second holi..for "us"(sic)..n looking back, today it feels strange.. even alien to myself.. coz, all said and done, still there exists this feeling of astonishment.. i really made it this far! (whoa)
and i still recollect in all details the "exchanges" on this day, last year... :) yes, in more ways than one, it was special to me.. you made it special.. the day prior to dhuleti, n then the follow up to dhuleti.. it was really unique, in all ways.. n i loved it..
n fast forward to this year, its the same day.. n yesterday, you brought back fond moments.. of yesteryear :)
n today, maybe, it wont be the same as it was last year.. but still, a hope glimmers that it will be something unique, in its own uniquely sweet way..
n i wait for it..:)

happy holi, ****!

Poets of the Fall - Late Goodbye

28.2.2011

"there will be a lot of mystery in your love life in january. and in all probablity you are currently involved in a passionate affair. but february shows the possibility of you getting tempted and blackmailed into a relationship, probably by a mysterious lover. however, march to may is a very romantic period and in the last week of april, you may fall in love while travelling. or will travel to meet your loved one. possibilities of love at the workplace are bright in may-june."
-dated 9th january,2011.

the first time i read it, i dint realise what it is supposed to convey.. reading it the second time over, i couldnt stop laughing.. and that induced me for a third read.. n i was gushing.. coz, some stuffs were (almost) accurate n some were hilarious.. n the prospective probablity and/or possibility of them occuring was all the more hilarious..
its two months down now.. n so i thought (due to certain building up of circumstantial situations) lemme just go back to it, again.

"passionate love affair" in january.. well, not very sure about that one.. but for some reason, this "february" is eerily accurate.."mysterious lover"--the identity is scary.. n im glad that "february" is over today.. n tomorrow onwards, i'll be looking at 'a very romantic period' march..

and as of today, there is some amount of indication of "travel" in the last week of april, so that again keeps the possibility of "in the last week of april, you may fall in love while travelling. or will travel to meet your loved one."

and the one thing to cheer me up in thae above stuff is : "possibilities of love at the workplace are bright in may-june" not because of the "love" aspect.. but because of the workplace aspect!

happy valentine's day

yeah.. Happy Valentine's Day :) technically its a lil bit late.. an hr past midnyt n into the next day.. but it can still hold true.. Valentine's, after all! coz, even with our saying vehemently that "everyday is a valentine's day", c'mon, you oughtta be honest on this one, we dun actually n really mean that n neither do we put that into practice everyday (literally speaking!)

n so, the above wishing n greeting n acknowledging holds true.. :) a lil delay can be considered in all the good spirits! :-D

n how it starts? well, before i get down accounting the details, one tiny (in)significant bit of trivia.. the starting n the finishing were (with) the same involvees! (confession: i made up this term..cudnt come up with anything else..my bad!) so, the starting..well, 13th feb,2011..2345 hrs.. n i so badly wanted to continue the "talking" for at least another 15 mins.. (n all credits to me that i actually managed to stretch it that far from 2315, when it first showed the signs of 'signing off!').. but that was not to be.. so, it was all me by myself..but ofcourse, nothing was stopping me from sending my first wish.. n so, it began.. a stark opposite of how it was just 365 days back! ;) n i had my HIMYM for company :) well, the phone did ring.. n i was not really very keen on that conversation.. so, a quick n polite wrap up on that n then finally off to sweetdreams.. waking up in the morning to meano's missed call n jack's msg.. n so, the morning began.. then the usual college (boring).. which rolled over to the equally boring afternoon! oh yeah!! there was this wierd telepathy thingy with jack (n this had been going on for quite sometime now) so, some part of the afternoon was spent with jack! :) n then again back to my loyal n ever loving HIMYM n then ye saali zindagi :) *awesome movie, i havta say!* which then again brings me to the evening..where again nothing to do.. even the phone doesnt ring.. n so, i indulge in a bit of 'greetin' spree.. n surprisingly, im greeted back with some real prompt replies..almost making me wish for everyday to be a Valentine's Day!

n then finally its that time of the day (everyday) for which i wait upon with anxious baited breath.. n today, it din disappoint! it rocked! :-D Daddy Donkey made up for the whole non-happening day of mine! (when i was actually sulking and frowning the whole day thinking abt the royal feast that some kabab-mei-haddi was being treated to at dinner! that sonovabitch!) n the 'movie' ends with me also being (conveniently) transformed to a "donkey"! :-D *yee-haw!* n so, when i really call it "time" for the day, i can go back to the wonderland with a smile on my face.. :) coz, for some (obvious) reason, my Valentine's was special.. something i'd wanted it to be.. :) n well, sometimes, you do get, what you make plans for about.. (the other occassion was the new year's 2011) *touchwood!*

n with the last exchange on the day's updatings with jack, it was a happy jill's valentine too! :)

so, its gonna be back-to-normalcy kinda life again..

gnite..for another day :)

confessions--part2

yes.. this is again a confession.. n this time im not confessing to anybody.. because, i realised im not answerable to all those who desperately seek answers in all my doings and sayings..
this is more of me-stating-facts, as against 'confessing', per se.. but on the hindsight, maybe, this can even hold the merit to be passed of as some sorta "confession" indeed from my part.. (maybe those times n occasions, albeit a rarity, but nevertheless, an occurence, definitely, where im in a somewhat diplomatic state of mind n being..)

i refuse to be tied dowm.. n im FIERCELY independent.. yes.. a fact, of which i was always aware of.. and a fact which just got re-established ina more concretised manner today..n so i declare, that im not even apologetic for what im doing (or even done).. i value my "FREEDOM" far too much than anything else ever concievable.. thats priceless..my treasure.. my precious!

and im ever grateful to meano, who understood this..(love yah!) n im glad, that you at least realised that if i refrain from doing what i do, n give in to what others (read: some specific others) want me to do, then it just wont be me.. yes.. thats so very true.. n after a certain argument-cum-discussion-'obhimaan'-frustration-cum-watever else may, with *****, i'd almost decided that i wont be doing what i generally do (ref: my buzz).. meaning, no more "one-liners" that are generally and mostly "cryptic" to the people "reading" it.. and which acts as a major "cause of worry" for someone..n the result, i was restless yesterday.. the whole day.. i was practically numb! n the only thing that restored the lil bit of senses in me was that heartfelt remark from meano.. :) yes..that, for a change, really lit up my nyt! n made me realise the grave sin that was going to commit by foregoing my precious!

and so, for all, who think they should have "access" to me, this is a general statement like fact-of-the-matter:
this is how i am.. n this is how i will be..i've not n never ever considered till this date (and moment in time) to ever morphose myself into some other mould, which is "liked" n "appreciated" by someone of significant importance to me..if that "someone significant" has deserved that tag form me, it is purely on the basis of how that person is..the "true self".. and i expect the same treatment.. because, im very fiercely protective about my freedom.. i refuse to be tied down.. by any conditions-pre conditioned..

yes.. if the only word that comes in YOUR mind is "REBELLIOUS", then yes.. i would love to be called that! n i have no regrets.

(p.s. : this is my vent up feelings.. a lot has been going on inside me for the past few days, which kinda increased in its intensity in the last couple of days.. i needed a space to take it all out..maybe, the fulcrum might be that part, where my buzzes were forcibly dragged to controversy.. n yes.. i was pissed! thoroughly.. n i just needed one push to let this all out.. n so, this ones for you meano.. maybe, i just realised that even today, after all these days, there is still something that makes me hold you in that special regard..without even asking anything back..this is unfortunately just a "write-up-post" so i really cant make you "see" this.. but just for your kiddo's sake, imagine that im bowing down to you.. in gratitude..for purely taking me for what i am..willingly..thanks a bunch..*love*)

jigsaw (27.1.2011)

will you term it as mere coincidence? or do you think that there holds something more than just a coincidence in its occurence?

yesterday (n also, it being the last day of 'the year'), i was chanced to pass beneath the railway overbridge when a train was passing through.. i had my wish.. :)

and today, (being the first day of 'amother year') my path was intercepted twice by sai baba procession..n on both the occasions, at different locations!

so, is it just luck? coinincidence? cosmic conspiracy? or all these were just 'chance encounters'?

what do you say?

confessions--of a blabbering mouth! :P

ahoy there!! :-D n somehow, for once, the very christening of this blog seems perfectly apt!!!! "dilly-dally* coz, in spite of having so many things to write about, i end up doing what im acquiring mastery in--procastination!period.

so, confessions it is... not because, i wanna wipe my slate clean and something akin.. no.. no soul-searching in it either..its just plain n simple confessions..i say confessions because its involves certain doings of mine which was not supposed to be done..because it was given a "negation" status..but then, eventually i ended up doing.. n the fact that i suck in talking it out (courtesy: my rudeness n bluntness n brashiness!), i figured it'll be better if i write it down here n get the person(s) concerned read it out themselves.. n it has one biggest advantage.. n that is, by the time the person(s) concerned decides to 'confront' me, they would have already read this piece of shit at least twice (i say twice, because, im sure that they wont be able to understand it at one go..)n wont be so mad at me! (wishing that exactly something like this happens.. *fingers crossed*)

huh.. n the list dates back to last year.. (wow! i begin real back in time!)
circa :: dec'10.. a wierd bad-ass fight..n for once, i gave it all to chuhiya..she heard me out..n parted with a warning..she warned me of dire consequences if i cried! (gawd! she was scary then!)
hmm..well, im sholly chuhiya.. coz, later on that day, i cudnt hold the tears back when meano called..

circa :: jan'11.. i WAS sure excited!!! of a prospect which was only there in my dreams, was unfolding right in front of my eyes.. :) everything that i had dreamt of n thought of for the 'perfect' new year was happening.. n that was the best begining i ever had! *love*

circa :: omnipresnce *chuckle*.. well, it involves a certain specific code word.. the word, per se, is NOT a code to the general public.. in fact, the mass uses that word very randomly.. but for a certain couple of entites, they happen to signify a different world atogether.. :-P ummm...my sincere apologies if im not divulging the details of it.. this one's really special! :)

n lastly, before i sign it off...though it has nothing to do with MY confessions of any sort, but well, it sure can act as confessions of my open disgust!

it happened yesterday and a couple of days before yesterday..
circa :: a couple of days before yesterday.. it was evening.. around 5.30ish.. i was walking outside my campus, going for bislering (thanks to the coloured water availability) when this scene unfolded.. there was a man, in his mid-to-late 20s or at the max early 30s..he was striding half-naked, that too with his jeans halfway down his ass, n showing off his white jockey! he had his black tee hanging from his jeans(wierd!) n a pair of glares hanging from the same place.. he was also wearing another pair of glares..  he was a comical sight! trust me on that!!! i dunno abt the rest of the people on the streets at that particular time, who were (un)fortnate enough to witness this, but i sure cudnt stop myself from bursting out in a laughter! :-D hell!!!!

circa :: yesterday.. as if, the young fellow parading the streets half-naked was not enough, yesterday evening, again around the same time (i wonder, if it has to do somehting wth the "time"), this time, it was an old vetenary, sporting skin-tight black coloured vest n shorts (thankfully the shorts were not skin-tight!!ugh!)


n tell you, not a good sight those!

so, there goes my first lot of confessions.. saving the rest for the next time!!
ciao.

awestruck n overwhelmed

awestruck.. overwhelmed too.. both individually.. n a heady cocktail mix of both.. n thats probably th closest i am able to define the way im feeling right now (my limited vocab, not-with-standing..due apologies)..

maybe, when sometimes certain things that you plan, dun really go according to your 'plans', its probably because, it doesnt deserve you or you dun deserve it..its because, you deserve something bigger n way better than wat you've had planned.. n this is something, i've realised today.. or, to be more specific, this has been my first realisation of the year.. the "new" year.. in every aspects.. "new" begining.."new" everything..(even literally!! well, almost!)

n i know, this is not a dream.. its a once-that-was-a-dream has come true.. coz, i've lived it.. :) it was realised.. a "begining".. :) n everything (meaning EVERYTHING) was in tandem with it.. n it never had the need to defy anything..  :):):):)

yesh..the perfect begining..the way i've always dreamt it to be..:) i dunno, how it'll end.. but i do know one thing..for each n every day that has to come, i'll have the "treasure" of my "begining".. n im sure, it'll get me through.. :)

*love*
*smiles*
*hugs*
*shut up(?!)*

1st january, 2011 :)

it was a fabulous year,2010.. :) and the most awesomest 31st of december,2010..
n its a brilliant new year :-D
coz i hav a new year's date :) *love*

starting the year, with a date :) cant get any better.. *yayyie!*