Jack is back!

so so so..... my phone rings..("...road to nowhere..")
i finally pick up.. and i hear a lot of disturbance, air and hustling followed by "hello"..
i "hello" back..
"hello" again..
i "ya" back..
"aritree?"..
i "yes" back, fully surprised.. my mind already on an overdrive..*it was an unknown number..no, i don't recognise this voice.. this ain't a voice i have heard in the recent past..ok..who is it who knows me so confidently?who*..
and i'm brought back to the conversation by "pehchana?"
i again give a "no" back..
"Jack.."

BANG! and that was it.. and what followed was an immediate "Jackass?!".. and the rest. well, it was mostly incoherent for the major part..punctuated with abuses thrown randomly at will.. but the smile never faded from my face and the laughter never escaped from his voice..

a long long hiatus.. a long long time when a certain J*** was lost among the crowd.. but the feeling when it all comes back? the feeling when a certain J*** is back with a certain J***?

Priceless.

p.s. it wont be much of a surprise, if i end up going to sleep tonight, listening to "Jack is Back" on a loop.. 

facts..

the fact that both of us have each other, works as the most wonderful drug of reassurance to me..
the fact that both of us have each of us in that same space, lets me be without any inhibition..
the fact that both of us know about the said fact, is probably the bestest ever thing that can take place between the two of us..ever..

and the best part being, experiencing the fact, that the time stays still between the both of us, at the same time, inspite of sitting in different parts of the country..

and so the fact still remains..neither of us can do without each other..
the fact remains--"i love you"--from either ends.

this should answer you, p.a. :)

"A sensitive soul, highly intuitive, the Cancer female needs a partner who would be able to respect her myriad emotions and wavering moods. Tough out, soft in, a Crab girl may be extremely shy in the first few meetings, leading one to believe that she has airs. However, this is just the time that she needs to understand the tuning she may share with the other person. She needs to be sure of the reliability of her partner, before she open up. Crabby girl craves stability, and is often attracted to confident, secure individuals; her ideal partner needs to be both tough and tender. The heart rules a Cancer female, and she believes in taking small steps in a relationship, mostly to ensure that she lets only the right people in. Once in love, she may become clingy, though. She takes the longest time to feel secure in love, so once she is involved, she is totally committed. Her family and friends are crucial to her existence, so she expects her partner to get along with them. All these are signs that she takes this relationship seriously, so the smooth-talking players should stay away."

love being me..and a rat's ass to all the bullshit around!

yes, off late, i have been flying.. i have been overwhelmed.. i have been reluctantly ecstatic.. yet i couldn't stop gushing everytime it rang.. it drove me nuts, everytime the airtel money ad came on tv.. the only reason being the "ringtone" of the ad, per se.. it was exactly the tone of my gtalk notifications on my phone..

and the reason of me being nuts at that? its simple.. i wait for the gtalk pings.. and everytime with that ring, my heart goes aflutter..

yes, off late, my recent obssession on gtalk has primarily being labelling the chat history under "same_to_same".. each and every one of them.. everyday..

yes, and being as recent as a lil more than 24 hrs (now that i write this), i have allowed myself to fall in love all over again with the night ride, with the sharp chill in the air brushing my face, with the hands entwined.. snugly.. comfortably..

yes, off late, i have let myself loose.. set myself free.. given a rat's ass to all the damned concern of otherwise.. just to be me..

and so it comes.. "love you" at quarter to midnight.. followed by an emphatic "yesh"..


p.s. : had forgotten, what it was, to be just me.. maybe, at times, sometimes, you do need a "Mirror" for yourself..

whoa!

some "day" sure this is turning out to be.. the Third of March, of the year 2012.. and it was never even my Lucky Day of the year..

a serious night of reconciliations.. (and you also have your wish in it p.a) a bit too overwhelmed for my comfortable liking..

im at a serious loss of everything.. words, emotions, feelings, senses, realisations, et al.... everything.. have no clue abt the keyboards as well.. just furiously striking on them..

he did put it very rightly.. we dun know any retracing.. and that said, even ending doesnt come easy to us.. but once its reached, it surely is the termination.. everything involved in it dies.. and thats inclusive of all the years invested in forming what was there, all the feelings vested, all the smiles shared and all the tears cries.. you just dun feel anything after that..

but i ask him now, "if you were in my place, would you also do what im doing? or would you have begged to "differ"? for this once?" but as its "me" in this place right now, i guess, its only "me" who has to take the call.. "maybe, someday (oneday), if you know abt it (if you may), you'll also agree.."and thats the only reassurance that i carry with me, as i take a baby step forward towards retracing..

and yes, its back to that again..

rewind to an exact couple of years.. the only difference this time round-----the calender reads 2012.