"what's on your mind?"

*what's on your mind?*

{kuchh toh hai tujhse raabta....."kaise"? hum jaane hume kta pata...} strained into the still hot air of the beginning of the summer of the same god forsaken shit-hole of the place wherein she lives..

she stares back at the screen again.. it's as if the screen has a mind of its own and is determined on playing a very devilishly cruel jape with her and her already horribly fucked up mind..she tries to think again.. whats on her mind? whats REALLY on her mind? 

it began in the morning of the day before.. when M gave her the news.. and such was the impact, that she didnt react to it.. it was a good news.. and she thought she ought to be happy for him.. and she also thought that she was genuinely happy.. for him.. after all, its really a good news.. indeed.. 

and boy, how wrong she was!

*what's on your mind?*

she has just the two photos with M, that dates back 4 years.. and she has his sweater.. her most favorite piece of garb in her entire wardrobe.. but no, thats not whats on her mind.. 

*what's on your mind?*

the fact that there wont be any more of those random and abrupt midnight calls at will.. the fact that there wont be any more of "haq jataana" and "apdaar".. the fact that she's supposed to act like a "grown up" and a mature person.. the fact that she feels terribly shattered deep down.. 

yes.. that seems just about the gist of "what's on your mind?"