well then.. so im finally starting it new.. umm, in retrospect, not exactly "new"..coz, i've done this n even 'started' it previously also.. but then technically it can be classified as "new"..but, may be, there also might even be some certain conflicting opinions..n so on n so forth....*bleh!*

so, let me rephrase it..which will make everyone's life a bit easier (definitely, if not a lot!)..

well then.. so im finally starting it "anew".. :) (howzzat!) :-P:-D

n so, after a lot of contemplating (woes), i finally could command all my 'guts' to pull this one through.. (:yeah baby! i deserve a pat!)n trust me, wen i say this, it still feels wierd.. but yeah, its kinda reassuring to, in a funny manner (now that i 'speak' of it, (not like SPEAK speak,but still..duh!) i kinda realise it..)n the best part in it, i dun really "know" (per se) what im supposed to say of, here.. n neither do i have anyone to come up with their paper slips of thousand n one suggestions.. (*whoa!*) but you know what-- n THAT precisely IS the BESTEST part.. :-D maybe because:

1.  no one cares what i 'blabber' about here (coz, obviously all those self-respecting people have better jobs to attend to rather than scout online for some seriously pathetic random blabber that some wierd female is so enthusiastic about! great!)
2. n so, what follows subsequently, im my own MASTER! (*ahan!*)

n i kinda realise that this is a great way of taking out all your crazy vent up 'feelings' for which you dint have any specific 'name' (n so you used 'characters' to define them, which was met with your p.a's outright refusal to believe..hmpf! *screw you!*).
so, what's really bothering me? i dunno.. EXACTLY. maybe, a myriad of stuffs, which have gone on to form a kaliedoscope of its own sorts, n so has therefore renderred itself absolutely impossible to be deciphered n decoded by my mortal n simple, almost non-existant brain. or maybe, im just too scared to point out what it is, coz im dreading what i think i know.. n so i end up fervently hoping that whatever that i belive that-i-think-i-know is completely false..(n i so want it to be a false alarm! :'( :desperate hope!)

(*yayyay! coz as im writing this, my phone buzzes, which is temporarily enough to reassure me of all those that-i-think-i-know stuffs to be a false alarm..but, ......oh, just let it be for now..i'll deal with it later..huff!*)

so, then.. what did i do the entire day today?well, nothing much to really count for..th usual mostly..which includes all th last min xeroxes n printouts n wat not.. :-P n one unusual thing too..(n im concerned about its status-'unusual' (?) goddammit!! really now?!?!eeww!!!!!) oh well, chuck it.. cant be heped, if i've already bestowed upon it the tag of 'unusual'..

so then, thats all kinda it.. nothing specific.. n except for the fact that its 2141 hrs now n im coffee-ing n simultaneously 'fighting' (n im not liking it :'( really..), i dun have anything much to say.. as of now, at least..
:sob!

i so want the fighting mode to end.. :'( :'( :'(