n im happy!! :-D  yesh yesh!!!! :-D :-D
n im glad that i have you.. :) n so glad :) *jumping*

oh damn! holy shit! fuckin' bloody ass!!!!!! n to say that im thoroughly embarassed, will be to say the least. YESH!
n to think of it, never, as in NEVER  never, did i ever think, (or even imagine in my most of the averagely n exceedingly wild-wilder-wildest dreams) that there WILL be someone (unfortunately) who will be so intersted in folllowing my useless crap n truck-load of banter! *ohmigawd!!!!!!!*
but then-whoa!!!-im, (as always, well, at least as "most-of-the-times-types-'always')proved wrong! n how so! n so, imagine the jolt that i recieve when i logged on to find that there was one follower listed! (n i'll save the trouble of yours to go through my bantering...hell no... i cant..gosh!!! im sooooooo embarassed!!!!!)

well, so not quite a very 'aupicious' start to the morning..n im paranoid of whats in store for me in the hours to unfold.. :( coz, the last couple of days, well, they're not exactly being 'pretty'.. many reasons, but then, maybe, all reasons being just the different variants of one big simplistically complicated reason. or maybe, its just me..
heck!

so, whatever it is, i dunno what it is.. so that sucks.. n so does my mood.
p.s. :
it was sunday..just the last one..you said something..n i was J..maybe it was stupid (for me to be J?! well, maybe not!)..but maybe, it wasnt so stupid enough of it, coz it did get me real J.. n i was at my crankiest best..(gradually tending towards to being crankiest worst)..i wanted to get it all out on you..n yet remain incognitu..n that was the difficult part..n all i could manage was to 'wrestle' with you, n the only satisfaction was that i felled you! (yesh!) *i genuinely bow down to the creator of that 'wunnerful' application*
n later on, while 'speaking', i was definitely not 'alryt'..n maybe you realised..some not-so-good vibes..
(:( damn!).. but you know what warmed up to me? you understood, n you just let me be..n that was the sole gesture on your part, that warmed up to me.. *:gushing!*
n im sorry.. maybe, its just that messed up stuffs playing a ball inside me ryt now..n i hopefully manage to sort it all out sooner.. coz amidst all these 'hard-stuffs' that i portray, there've been plenty of 'silent tears' making their way out.. n you'll never know.. (or maybe, i'll never know, if you know)..

well then.. so im finally starting it new.. umm, in retrospect, not exactly "new"..coz, i've done this n even 'started' it previously also.. but then technically it can be classified as "new"..but, may be, there also might even be some certain conflicting opinions..n so on n so forth....*bleh!*

so, let me rephrase it..which will make everyone's life a bit easier (definitely, if not a lot!)..

well then.. so im finally starting it "anew".. :) (howzzat!) :-P:-D

n so, after a lot of contemplating (woes), i finally could command all my 'guts' to pull this one through.. (:yeah baby! i deserve a pat!)n trust me, wen i say this, it still feels wierd.. but yeah, its kinda reassuring to, in a funny manner (now that i 'speak' of it, (not like SPEAK speak,but still..duh!) i kinda realise it..)n the best part in it, i dun really "know" (per se) what im supposed to say of, here.. n neither do i have anyone to come up with their paper slips of thousand n one suggestions.. (*whoa!*) but you know what-- n THAT precisely IS the BESTEST part.. :-D maybe because:

1.  no one cares what i 'blabber' about here (coz, obviously all those self-respecting people have better jobs to attend to rather than scout online for some seriously pathetic random blabber that some wierd female is so enthusiastic about! great!)
2. n so, what follows subsequently, im my own MASTER! (*ahan!*)

n i kinda realise that this is a great way of taking out all your crazy vent up 'feelings' for which you dint have any specific 'name' (n so you used 'characters' to define them, which was met with your p.a's outright refusal to believe..hmpf! *screw you!*).
so, what's really bothering me? i dunno.. EXACTLY. maybe, a myriad of stuffs, which have gone on to form a kaliedoscope of its own sorts, n so has therefore renderred itself absolutely impossible to be deciphered n decoded by my mortal n simple, almost non-existant brain. or maybe, im just too scared to point out what it is, coz im dreading what i think i know.. n so i end up fervently hoping that whatever that i belive that-i-think-i-know is completely false..(n i so want it to be a false alarm! :'( :desperate hope!)

(*yayyay! coz as im writing this, my phone buzzes, which is temporarily enough to reassure me of all those that-i-think-i-know stuffs to be a false alarm..but, ......oh, just let it be for now..i'll deal with it later..huff!*)

so, then.. what did i do the entire day today?well, nothing much to really count for..th usual mostly..which includes all th last min xeroxes n printouts n wat not.. :-P n one unusual thing too..(n im concerned about its status-'unusual' (?) goddammit!! really now?!?!eeww!!!!!) oh well, chuck it.. cant be heped, if i've already bestowed upon it the tag of 'unusual'..

so then, thats all kinda it.. nothing specific.. n except for the fact that its 2141 hrs now n im coffee-ing n simultaneously 'fighting' (n im not liking it :'( really..), i dun have anything much to say.. as of now, at least..
:sob!

i so want the fighting mode to end.. :'( :'( :'(