such a simple happenstance.
give a kid a lollipop. see his eyes lit up in glee. see his lips break into a smile. see his hands carefully unwrapping the wrapping.. careful enough not to pry the paper with the sugar sticking on it. and the pure ecstasy. and then at that moment, without the kid's slightest anticipation, you take the lollipop from him. plain swift flow of motion. slow enough to let the kid see it all. fast enough to not give the kid any chance of counter reaction.
and it's then it all happens. the sense of loss. that kills the kid. and the kid cries. innocent sobs. heartfelt sobs. all the kid gets are "its okay" "don't worry" "there'll be more".
there's a song which has the lines "the hardest part of ending is starting all again". and so damn true it is. as for me, all these times, it felt like a long journey through a tunnel. a lit tunnel. i could see the ending of the tunnel. last few weeks, somehow it picked up the speed. and that's where i made the biggest mistake of not discounting the factor of "what if".. so blinded was i of the speeding surroundings, so taken away was i of the illusion of movement. and it almost all worked out to the end. almost. and that's where the not discounted factor of "what if" came on the picture.
that lollipop was too good to be simply handed over to me.
and i was the kid in that simple happenstance. i was the kid who had the lollipop snatched away from "licking" distance. maybe, if only i'd have reached out a little bit further. maybe a couple more steps. maybe. if only. and before i could get a grip of anything happening around me, all i could realise is this sickening feeling of letting everyone down.
tears roll down.
give a kid a lollipop. see his eyes lit up in glee. see his lips break into a smile. see his hands carefully unwrapping the wrapping.. careful enough not to pry the paper with the sugar sticking on it. and the pure ecstasy. and then at that moment, without the kid's slightest anticipation, you take the lollipop from him. plain swift flow of motion. slow enough to let the kid see it all. fast enough to not give the kid any chance of counter reaction.
and it's then it all happens. the sense of loss. that kills the kid. and the kid cries. innocent sobs. heartfelt sobs. all the kid gets are "its okay" "don't worry" "there'll be more".
there's a song which has the lines "the hardest part of ending is starting all again". and so damn true it is. as for me, all these times, it felt like a long journey through a tunnel. a lit tunnel. i could see the ending of the tunnel. last few weeks, somehow it picked up the speed. and that's where i made the biggest mistake of not discounting the factor of "what if".. so blinded was i of the speeding surroundings, so taken away was i of the illusion of movement. and it almost all worked out to the end. almost. and that's where the not discounted factor of "what if" came on the picture.
that lollipop was too good to be simply handed over to me.
and i was the kid in that simple happenstance. i was the kid who had the lollipop snatched away from "licking" distance. maybe, if only i'd have reached out a little bit further. maybe a couple more steps. maybe. if only. and before i could get a grip of anything happening around me, all i could realise is this sickening feeling of letting everyone down.
tears roll down.
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