yes.. this is again a confession.. n this time im not confessing to anybody.. because, i realised im not answerable to all those who desperately seek answers in all my doings and sayings..
this is more of me-stating-facts, as against 'confessing', per se.. but on the hindsight, maybe, this can even hold the merit to be passed of as some sorta "confession" indeed from my part.. (maybe those times n occasions, albeit a rarity, but nevertheless, an occurence, definitely, where im in a somewhat diplomatic state of mind n being..)
i refuse to be tied dowm.. n im FIERCELY independent.. yes.. a fact, of which i was always aware of.. and a fact which just got re-established ina more concretised manner today..n so i declare, that im not even apologetic for what im doing (or even done).. i value my "FREEDOM" far too much than anything else ever concievable.. thats priceless..my treasure.. my precious!
and im ever grateful to meano, who understood this..(love yah!) n im glad, that you at least realised that if i refrain from doing what i do, n give in to what others (read: some specific others) want me to do, then it just wont be me.. yes.. thats so very true.. n after a certain argument-cum-discussion-'obhimaan'-frustration-cum-watever else may, with *****, i'd almost decided that i wont be doing what i generally do (ref: my buzz).. meaning, no more "one-liners" that are generally and mostly "cryptic" to the people "reading" it.. and which acts as a major "cause of worry" for someone..n the result, i was restless yesterday.. the whole day.. i was practically numb! n the only thing that restored the lil bit of senses in me was that heartfelt remark from meano.. :) yes..that, for a change, really lit up my nyt! n made me realise the grave sin that was going to commit by foregoing my precious!
and so, for all, who think they should have "access" to me, this is a general statement like fact-of-the-matter:
this is how i am.. n this is how i will be..i've not n never ever considered till this date (and moment in time) to ever morphose myself into some other mould, which is "liked" n "appreciated" by someone of significant importance to me..if that "someone significant" has deserved that tag form me, it is purely on the basis of how that person is..the "true self".. and i expect the same treatment.. because, im very fiercely protective about my freedom.. i refuse to be tied down.. by any conditions-pre conditioned..
yes.. if the only word that comes in YOUR mind is "REBELLIOUS", then yes.. i would love to be called that! n i have no regrets.
(p.s. : this is my vent up feelings.. a lot has been going on inside me for the past few days, which kinda increased in its intensity in the last couple of days.. i needed a space to take it all out..maybe, the fulcrum might be that part, where my buzzes were forcibly dragged to controversy.. n yes.. i was pissed! thoroughly.. n i just needed one push to let this all out.. n so, this ones for you meano.. maybe, i just realised that even today, after all these days, there is still something that makes me hold you in that special regard..without even asking anything back..this is unfortunately just a "write-up-post" so i really cant make you "see" this.. but just for your kiddo's sake, imagine that im bowing down to you.. in gratitude..for purely taking me for what i am..willingly..thanks a bunch..*love*)
this is more of me-stating-facts, as against 'confessing', per se.. but on the hindsight, maybe, this can even hold the merit to be passed of as some sorta "confession" indeed from my part.. (maybe those times n occasions, albeit a rarity, but nevertheless, an occurence, definitely, where im in a somewhat diplomatic state of mind n being..)
i refuse to be tied dowm.. n im FIERCELY independent.. yes.. a fact, of which i was always aware of.. and a fact which just got re-established ina more concretised manner today..n so i declare, that im not even apologetic for what im doing (or even done).. i value my "FREEDOM" far too much than anything else ever concievable.. thats priceless..my treasure.. my precious!
and im ever grateful to meano, who understood this..(love yah!) n im glad, that you at least realised that if i refrain from doing what i do, n give in to what others (read: some specific others) want me to do, then it just wont be me.. yes.. thats so very true.. n after a certain argument-cum-discussion-'obhimaan'-frustration-cum-watever else may, with *****, i'd almost decided that i wont be doing what i generally do (ref: my buzz).. meaning, no more "one-liners" that are generally and mostly "cryptic" to the people "reading" it.. and which acts as a major "cause of worry" for someone..n the result, i was restless yesterday.. the whole day.. i was practically numb! n the only thing that restored the lil bit of senses in me was that heartfelt remark from meano.. :) yes..that, for a change, really lit up my nyt! n made me realise the grave sin that was going to commit by foregoing my precious!
and so, for all, who think they should have "access" to me, this is a general statement like fact-of-the-matter:
this is how i am.. n this is how i will be..i've not n never ever considered till this date (and moment in time) to ever morphose myself into some other mould, which is "liked" n "appreciated" by someone of significant importance to me..if that "someone significant" has deserved that tag form me, it is purely on the basis of how that person is..the "true self".. and i expect the same treatment.. because, im very fiercely protective about my freedom.. i refuse to be tied down.. by any conditions-pre conditioned..
yes.. if the only word that comes in YOUR mind is "REBELLIOUS", then yes.. i would love to be called that! n i have no regrets.
(p.s. : this is my vent up feelings.. a lot has been going on inside me for the past few days, which kinda increased in its intensity in the last couple of days.. i needed a space to take it all out..maybe, the fulcrum might be that part, where my buzzes were forcibly dragged to controversy.. n yes.. i was pissed! thoroughly.. n i just needed one push to let this all out.. n so, this ones for you meano.. maybe, i just realised that even today, after all these days, there is still something that makes me hold you in that special regard..without even asking anything back..this is unfortunately just a "write-up-post" so i really cant make you "see" this.. but just for your kiddo's sake, imagine that im bowing down to you.. in gratitude..for purely taking me for what i am..willingly..thanks a bunch..*love*)
:)
ReplyDeletehey kiddo...i am a "mean - guy" (not literal meaning)right...who will better understand better ;)...
ReplyDeleteand yeah i imagined all you wanted me to.. :)
@demi-dude: yesh.. *love you :)*
ReplyDelete