'learnings'--of a certain kind ;)

watching the movie and the realisation dawns----
my cousin's then boyfriend, actually did a pretty good job with me.. coz, none of the adjectives in the movie seemed new.. and each and every one of it reminded me of the first time when i was being diligently explained their true essence over std phone calls.. :-P

so all i say to you, "dhanyavad guruji".. :)

frustrated post..!

and you know you have the worst weekend when :

• you are holed up in your room when its the most beautiful evening outside..
• you are sitting with all sorts of accounts books and papers open in front of you..
• your *.* lives 15 mins away and yet you dunno how to call him..
• you live in a shithole of a place and you end up liking all the weekend posts of your paradise city..
• and you have two back-to-back tests just following the weekend..

*grrrrrr..!*

:P

"mujhe aur b bahut kuch ata hai car mei karna :-P :-D"

just an other night..!

(me)feels like:

• a bowl of messy drippy spaghetti
• a cuddle
• steaming n pippin' chai
• movie in lapi, together
• pj's
• blanket
• dark room save the glare from the lapi
• the whiff of my fav smell
• the 'smooth'
• the feel
• the presence

You beside me.

p.s : if the 'feel' and this surge gets more profound, i might as well rush downstairs n sit in "Your black ride"..

p.p.s : and yes, i do have a 'first' with You :)

contentment.

cant think of anything but for these lines as for now.. seems wierd considering the fact that i dun identify myself with anything related to "bengalism".. and these lines are a part of a Rabindrasangeet, albeit in a translated version.. and surprisingly, after the 'share-alls' and the 'tell-alls' of yesternight, these lines seem the most befitting to illustrate all that has taken place, in all these times.. true meaning, well, maybe.. but as of now, it sums up everything.. everything includes the way i (still) continue to feel..

"achanak hum bichhad gaye gaye koi kahi, fir ye milan jab ho gaya sathi pran me samao"

p.s.: as for the 'updates' on all the 'actions' that you want to be notified by me, i cant really promise.. because of maybe so many reasons.. one of them being, its "us" concerned.. but, for now, just that you know, this is probably the best place ever that i hav been in this.. dunno, where it goes, dunno where its even headed.. but it sure has the strange and the odd feel of reassurance and comfort.. and for now, i am more than happy to take it.. and im not even thinking of whats gonna happen tomo.. i hav kinda frozen that time and replaying it over and over again.. :)

and yes, im gonna need you with me in this.. and i dunno any other way of saying this.. because, yeah, i really suck at these stuffs.. and you have to help me out.. at every point of time.. be my "wing-girl" for this one part of me.. *love*

p.p.s: i guess, by now you hav realised what the above "quote" really refers to.. ;)

you are supposed to feel happy and good after a meet with your loved one after a long wait of a year..
you are supposed to be dreamy eyed throughout the day and night after the rendezvous...
you are supposed to continue feeling your loved one's smell around you.. even hours after you have been wrapped around your loved one's loving arms..
you are supposed to fondly gaze at every picture of both of yours together..
you are supposed to be excitedly waiting for 'tomorrow' to come for another meet with your loved one..

and you are NOT supposed to feel shit and crappy.
but thats what is happening to me..
i feel the smell.. i relive the touch.. i go back to every syllable uttered.. i have the face and the smile, the hug and the embrace, the hold and the poise, the glittering eyes and the innocent brush against the knee, all frozen with me.. and yet, i have the unmistakable presence of that moist feel tingling the corners of the eyes.. and it wont be long before.......


p.s. and that is why, you should always say.. speak.. coz silence doesnt go well.. because, it screeches to me.. and when i need you the most, you cant be here with me..

disappointment

you get time to do everything but for that lil insignificant small almost barely noticeable something, which is probably the only significantly noticeable everything for me..

p.s. and so, just as you know, it will not kill you for doing it, but it definitely kills me by your not doing it..
p.p.s just one more instance, where you so live up to your "Name"..