what do you do?

on the days when you dun feel all right, yet nothing is apparently and visibly wrong with you, what do you do?
when for no reason at all, even in the presence of the loved one, you can't even but force a smile?
when you dun wanna talk, and yet die a thousand deaths in the unspoken silence?
when you feel, you should cry, but go all out searching in vain, for just the one remotest reason, which again, you dun find..
what do you do, when you are just being you, and yet you feel that you are not yourself?

its at that time when you feel, and wish, to just tilt your head at a side so that all the cranked up stuffs get aligned and flow out like the shiny silver slivers of the thoughts..with none to hold and bind..

first(sic)

sometimes i think, certain 'firsts' are destined to be on the "first".. that always prepares by itself for the opportune posed--"when was the last time you did something for the first time?"and yes, today, on the first day, i did something for the first time ever.. and yes, it feels nice.. really nice :)

*a happy new year, indeed!*

this is the stupid me, being real stupid, and starting on a stuoid note! :D

it was only in the dreams.. or the fantasy castle lands.. and at times it was in some of the movies and of course, the latest being in one of the episodes of my all time fav "How I Met Your Mother".. but never before did i ever could think that it could be real.. but then again, that never stopped me ever from wishing for the same..

this no fairy tale.. but no less than one either.. spending the dying few moments of the last year, in the arms of the loved one and ushering in the new year, being in the arms of the loved one.. with no damn care of the world.. being in your own lil' space even while surrounded by the crazy milies of the rowdy midnight crowd.. when all matters is just the serene and the solitude amidst all the cacophonic brouhaha.. with the stars showering on us, and we sealing it all.. yes, it was the "perfect" ushering of a "great begining"..

and i guess, i have just you to thank for making it so special.. sometimes i really cant help but wonder, "23 on 23" was really a magical phenomenon..

love.. :)

it is all gonna be so LOVERLY!

and now that everything is (finally) sorted (sic), i'll be going back to all those that i love the most..
and this is not a new year resolution, but something which was on the backburner for a real long time..

and yes. it is back-to-love, once again.period.

dentist diary

"Dr. Sethi k paas hae ilaj ki dava hai.. Abse brush karke do batli peg maro.. Germs talli.. Sab inactive.. So jaege.. No sadan in daant :)"

14.9.11.......the understanding of the "C" word

till now, i never was sure of the meaning and essence of COMMITMENT. i used to go about asking people what do they really mean by it. how would they define 'Commitment'? and to be frank, i did get hell loadsa replies. at times even more than what i could have actually handled at a time.

{and i wont give or make any stories at that! this 'Commitment' deals with a guy and a girl.}

of al the definitions that i was subjected to, one made its way to my brain. quoting a certain Doc.-----
"you know you are committed, when you wont even think of going out (as on a date) with any other (comparable) being."

and it made sense to me, today!
up until this day, i have put a certain entity to tremendous testing conditions, which at times were no way air and just. but still i did. and maybe i can never forgive myself for that.

but on the same hand, i am the proudest person, because the concerned entity never failed those tests.

before today, i was a wanderer. because i knew i can always come back to my "ground force". i used to take advantage. undue advantage of it. and i know today-----how wrong i was!

maybe today, if anyone asks me, how would i define "commitment", i still wont be able to elucidate it or put it down in words for writing. but some oart inside me is at complete peace today, because i have finally understood and felt "commitment".

it might be too early for me to say it now. but i have decided to live for the moment.

and COMMITTED it is for me----- at the moment. and i am happy, proud, satisfied and relaxed.

because, for once, it all feels justified!

the "RAINS" finally.. :)

strong steady downpour, awesome rains + pulsar ride winding through the crazy traffic in the evening + soaking wet and fully drenched + halting at the roadside for the amazing pipping hot tapri chai + sutta + the ideal and the best companion for all the above..
my best ever rains in this city.. dated 12th August, 2011.