jealous.

currently on my hit-list

K*****a S**********m
N*****a I**r

two females.
and yes, i am envious of these two.
and for two entirely mutually exhaustive reasons.

the former because of her proximity (details of this i'm not gonna divulge) to a human being i simply cannot get enough of (yes, it will be safe to even assume that i drool over him).

the latter because she doesn't let me do my stuff by constanly diverting my attention to those delectable foods that she keeps on eating and cooking. inspite of her being vegetarian!

yes. this reinstates the fact that i don't get along with the members of my gender.

the former makes me feel like a stalker.
the latter makes me feel like a pig.

oh, and it doesn't help because, both of them are stunners.

yes, another count of being J.

 

"I get by! I'm cute"

sheldon : how do you even get by?
penny : i'm cute! *nonchalance*

in case you are wondering, these lines are from a popular tv series 'The Big Bang Theory', and Sheldon and Penny happen to be two of the main characters around whom the entire series is built on. Sheldon is the complete compulsive geek who necessarily requires everthing to be done and executed as per the convention prescribed, both by him and others. whereas, Penny is the more normal, social and out going person. blonde. oh and extremely pretty too.

cutting back to real time scenario.

pertaining to a birthday cake order in a very classy, upscale and uptight cake shop. the standard and the minimum order size regarding cakes being 1 kg. i did ask them before placing my order. they said they can make whichever size i want.
i end up ordering a very delectable cake. a chocolate variant but a different kind.. not a cheesecake either, but almost like one.. the name suggested a hint of a lime variant, but the taste was purely a chocolatey bliss.. oh, and did i mention? it was the dark chocolate variant. and the cake had a uniform covering of cocoa powder all over.. that's the one i ordered, for, a brown never looked so pretty ever!

and well, put my requisition for a size which i figured would be the best for the ones eating i at the end.

24 hours later, i went to collect my order of the delectable cake, in that very classy, upscale and uptight cake shop.. they already had my order.. custom made.. and that's when they tell me!

"your cake is ready madam. do you like it?"
"oh yes. it looks beautiful."
" we don't make cakes this size. our minimum order size is 1 kg. but we made it for you."
"oh really? you should have told me yesterday itself. thank you so much!"

carrying the box as i enter, i was greeted by surprise looks.. of the happy kind.

and as i recount the story, i'm greeted by more surprise looks. this time, of the astonished and shocked kind.

him : 'did they not give you?'
me : 'of course they did. i get by, i'm cute!'
him : *smirk* damn right you are!

so, yes. i get by. i guess i'm cute.

p.s. i'm not blonde!

 

swachhata abhiyan

spring cleaning is such an anomaly!
especially if you happen to be around a Bong household, you'll get to realise it at every breathing instant of your life!

yours truly is the most authentic example! *as authentic as you want and as authentic as you can ever get*
in a Bong household, even if the lady of the house is not a self proclaimed finicky about the cleanliness drive, it doesn't mater a bit. for it doesnt change anything.at.all. zilch.

for, there will be the customary cleaning of the entire household ranging from changing the all things covering the rest of all things, to the rest of all things covered with all things, at the begining of the year : read, January. then it will be again the mandatory-no-escaping cleaning before the Bong New Year (read, sometime mid April) wich again  necessarily has to be completed (with polish, et al) by the first week of April, failing which it is a harakiri.

and just in case, if, by any means, the January cleaning is postponed then for the lesser mortal-esque yours truly, it's run-for-your-lives time! two entire household turning upside down cleaning, in a span of less than 2 months! whew! and no logic (scientific or otherwise) is allowed to even moonlight the issue.

and beyond April, if you think that all the issue has been taken care of and you've got some breathing space, then lo and behold! and beware too! there is the dreaded onset of the durga pujo feel! and there is no escaping that.

so now you see, where i am going with this anomaly.

and sping cleaning is such a farce!

oh, and not to mention, the in-between cleaning campaigns, just because, "oi baksho ta onek din khule dyakha hoyeni. or tola ta poriskar hoyeni. or opor-er kagoj ta paltano hoyeni."

and all those "hoyeni" then becomes the major cause of distress. which you can't even escape!

so, september already. and three rounds of cleanliness drive already through, in a house which is just over a year old.

and the reward?

alomost 40 years worth of documented history in pictures. priceless frames!